This typically comes as a shock to most people, but I was born and raised in Arkansas, Saline County no less. I have come to the conclusion over the last couple of years that despite being raised in the south, I am not southern. If it were not for a handful of facial features that I have inherited I would be convinced that I was somehow swapped at birth in the hospital nursery. I imagine some family living on the east coast somewhere with a child that uses the word “yall” every other sentence and has an odd obsession with NASCAR and camo clothing.
With the exception of my immense love of all things college football here is how I come up short.
The accent – They (whoever they is) say you develop your accent early in life based on the influence of the people you are exposed to. This is 100% BS. My family, parent’s friends while I was growing up and neighbors sound like a bunch of people sitting around a tractor pull competition. Yet I cringe when I hear a phrase like “hey yall, I’m fixin to go huntin, wanna come?” Shoot me.
This makes me want to puke
Food – For some reason the first thing that comes to mind when I think of southern food is biscuits and gravy. I cannot think of anything more disgusting than mixing flour and grease and eating it over a biscuit. Same can be said for most southern meals. Cornbread, meatloaf, peas, chicken fried steak, catfish, and most other traditional southern dishes are things I try to avoid eating at all cost.
Music – I have never understood the appeal of country music by and large. I have respect for the few who write their own music, but that is a very small percentage.
Hunting – Let me be up front with something here. I have no problem with people killing animals; there are ecological benefits not to mention I really like to eat meat. I just find the process of putting on hideous clothing (again, I could write a whole post on how I despise camo) and sitting in a tree for several hours. Then if you actually do kill something you have to drag it out of the woods and clean it.
NASCAR – I could write a whole blog post on why I dislike NASCAR. So I will keep this one short, I don’t get the appeal of watching cars drive in a circle for 4 hours.
Heat – The thing I hate most about the south is the heat. Who the hell had the dumb idea of settling in an area that has 110 degree heat index in the middle of June in the first place?
I have the same wonderment over my own birthright myself. If I wasn’t the closest thing to a spitting image while still being female of my father, I would insist that someone dropped me in the water a la Moses and I just floated down the Mississippi River until my parents picked me up.
Unfortunately for me and my butt, I love chicken fried steak like the first born child I haven’t had. Now, catfish, iced tea, okra, and black eyed peas are not my friend. In fact, boiled okra could be used as a torture device.
The ironic thing is that you married someone that says y’all on a daily basis, thinks biscuits and gravy are the perfect start to a great day, and loves every food you mentioned
not to mention I have owned my share of camo!